Snape's Feelings
by MikalaGoodwin
Summary: Crappy title. A mini one-shot I wrote about Snape at Lily's death and what he's feeling. May make it a two-shot! Was written around 12 am so PLEASE don't hate!  story is better than summary!  i hope!  K  just to be safe


**Hey guys! :) Took a nap the other day and woke up about 10:30 pm. Until I fell asleep at 1 am I decided to write this. I've had the idea for awhile. It's not the best (it was around 12 am!) so don't be picky about grammar issues and how much it sucks! (im too lazy to proof-read it right now. XD Maybe one day...) But seriously, HPDT P2 made me cry when Snape died and Harry saw his memories. Snape is my FAVORITE character EVER! 3 (next to Sirius and Luna of course ^-^) so I wanted to contribute something to him**

**And I'm ranting so I'll just stop. Enjoy! :D *gives cookies* (to make it more bearable) ;D**

**~ Mik Mik**

* * *

><p>A silent pop echoed through Godrics Hollow, and from that pop apparated a man with greasy, shoulder length black hair and a wide-eyed, almost scared face, one unusual emotion that rarely - if ever - covered the professors face. Serverus Snape stood in front of the big house for a moment, not wanting to believe the giant gaping hole in the roof of the proof he'd find inside. All of a sudden, Snape ran through the fence and towards the Potter's front door.<p>

The smell of charred and burning things worried him even more as he paused once more in front of the door. He waited only a mere second before bursting inside.

And suddenly wished that he hadn't.

There were obvious clues of struggle: a knocked over lamp, turned over pictures, a stray wand on the couch cushion, and-

Snape gasped quietly as he saw the crumpled form of a large male body. He bent down immediately, but knew it was too late to attempt to bring James Potter back. The Killing Curse had done it's job efficently.

Snape didn't know what he felt, staring at the unblinking eyes of James. James, who had taunted him and made his years at Hogwarts miserable, who had embarassed him constantly, and who stole his girl aw-

Snape gasped and stood up, running to the back rooms of the first floor, looking for signs of Lily. He started to panic as he ran up the stairs and looked around. The only room with it's doors open was at the end of the hall, the walls a pale green, and destruction everywhere.

Snape stopped as he saw it all from the end of the hall. He walked forward slowly, afraid of what he'd find. What he saw destroyed him inside, his heart seeming to stop and whither inside as he lept towards the limp body of Lily Potter beside her son's crib.

Snape couldn't control his tears as he gathered Lily in his arms and collasped over her unmoving form. Lily. His Lily. Beautiful Lily, who tried to protect him from James' pranks and taunts, who tried to help him with Potions class, though he were a Slytherin and Lily a Gryffndor. Lily, whom had been his first friend and he hers. Lily, who somehow had taken tolerance for James, ended up falling in love with him. Falling in love with the monster who had made his supposed 7 greatest years a living hell.

Snape leaned back and swept Lilys hair away from her face. Her face was contorted with fear and pain. Snape slowly closed her eyes, her beautiful, emerald eyes that he had always been mesmerized by, and tried to stop his uneven breathing. If only Voldemort had been convinced that the Longbottoms son had been the one of the profecy. If only he had been more convincing to Voldemort as to not go after the Potters. If only if he had been a few moments quicker. If only she had been his. If only...

He cried even heavier than before, holding onto Lily like a lifeline, when he heard a small whine rise up from behind him. Startled, Snape turned around to see an infant, no more than a year old, with a tear-streaked face and wide, innocent eyes looking blankly at his mother and at Snape himself. This was who Voldemort was after all along. Harry Potter.

Snape looked intently at the child. He looked so much like his father; the hair, the face, but there was one thing that wasn't James'.

The eyes.

The big, beautiful jade eyes that could only belong to his mothers. The green eyes were very dark, but still amazingly vibrant, just as Lily's were when she got upset or sad or cried. Those eyes...

Snape started to cry even more, hugging Lily to him again as tear-streaked Harry babbled and cried and whined, not knowing what had happened to his mother and who the strange man was holding her.

Snape noticed a long, burning scar above the boy's brow. A lightning shaped cut was imprinted on the boys head, steaming a little. Why had Voldemort not killed the boy, but had killed James and... Lily...?

Snape crumbled again as the boy sleepily stared at him, emerald eyes closing as slowly as his mothers had. The green eyes of Lily Potter that would never be opened again.

Snape didn't know how long he knelt there, minutes or months, but suddenly there was a worn, old hand on his shoulder and a giant shadow cast over him and the infant. Snape looked up to see the sorrowful face of Rubeus Hagrid, the grounds keeper for Hogwarts.

"Dumbledore told me yeh'd be here, Severus." Hagrid said, glancing down from his half-giant height to Snapes curled up form on the floor.

"I'm so sorry." Hagrid muttered. Snape merely glanced at Hagrid as he coninued, clearing his throat.

"Uhm. Dumbledore told me ta come n' get Harry."

"Where are you taking him?" Snape quietly asked, and Hagrid wasn't sure if he'd heard him, but answered anyway.

"To his aunt's house. Dumbledore said it's th' only family he has left." Hagrid looked sadly at Harry's crib. The boy was sleeping now, fitfully tossing

Snape stiffened as he knew who Hagrid was talking about; Lily's sister, Petunia. Petunia had never liked Lily, or Snape, really. She thought there was a problem with being a witch or wizard with powers. That was part of the reason that Lily and Snape had become friends, so they could have someone to compare to, someone to have a secret bond with. Petunia had always called Lily and Snape horrible things, up until the day they boarded the Hogwarts Express on their first day of Hogwarts. She even mocked them when they came home for breaks.

"Why? Petunia hate's magic." Snape muttered to Hagrid, looking down at Lily's face again.

"She's th' only family the boy has lef', Severus." Hagrid told him.

"But he'll grow up a Muggle! He won't be loved or treated as a son or-" Snape started when Hagrid cut him off.

"But he'll b' safe! You-Know-Who won' be lookin' in th' Muggle world fer Harry. He'll still have a chance."

Thats when Snape snapped.

"Let me raise him!" Snape yelled, startling Harry out of his fitful sleep at his outburst. Snape's eyes were drowning in tears as he glared up at Hagrid, contuining.

"He'll never like it with Petunia and her husband! They already treat their son like he's the next savior! Harry will just be unwanted company! Let me talk to Dumbledore. Surely he'll let me raise the boy. Let me just talk to him. Let me-"

"Severus..." Hagrid cut him off and stared at him. Snape knew he was being irrational, just wanting to raise Harry because he felt like he owed Lily something for not being able to take her life. But Petunia would never accept Harry, there was no doubt in Snape's mind about that.

Snape glared down, holding back more tears.

"Just take him." He muttered.

"Wha'?" Hagrid wasn't sure what Snape'd just said.

"Just take him, you oaf! Just take him and leave!" Snape yelled as his voice cracked as he let another tear slide from his face onto Lily's.

Hagrid stood for a shocked moment longer, then scooped up Harry in his arms.

"Server-"

"Just go, Hagrid. Go."

Snape kept his gaze on Lilys face until he could hear Hagrid tromp down the stairs. He could hear his giant motorcycle rev up outside, then with a roar and a pop, it was quiet once more.

* * *

><p><strong> Thanks again for reading! This is supposed to be a one-shot, but I wrote a mini epilogue for whoever wants to read it X3<br>***OH! I HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT FOR THIS NOW! :D***  
>I was helping my boyfriend FINALLY set one up and made a new one to help him go through the steps and didn't have the heart to delete it ^^U<br>***URL will be on my profile! All my stories will be on there too! :D*****

**~ Mik Mik**

**.?id=100002872471319**


End file.
